02.08.2020

pregnancy quotes funny

Share these quotes with the dad-to-be or a pregnant friend or sister – they go a long way to keep you happy and confident. Dumb man + smart woman = marriage.

Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were F*ck*d before you got there.Danger, due to the influence of pregnancy hormones I could burst into tears or kill you in the next five minutes.If pregnancy were a book they would cut out the last two chapters.We stopped trying to get pregnant because our efforts have already been successful!The funniest part of pregnancy is you get personal servant 24/7 for the next nine months.
Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady-hole? If you’re looking for ways to amuse yourself and have a good laugh, keep reading.

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It is about the courageous human spirit and also a miracle of wisdom. She cut down, but couldn't give up drinking every single night. Guess who?Peeing on a stick and preserving that stick is the start of the many disgusting things you will do as a mother.We are excited to announce that our family will grow by two feet.The best part of pregnancy is getting the dishes cleaned by your husband. I’ve raised twins. Make the most of it.OMG! May you have someone whom you want to congratulate by funny pregnancy wishes and searching a sarcastic way for pregnancy congratulations!

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy.Pregnancy is a disease from which you recover in 18 years and 9 months.If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.Unless you are the one who put this baby in here or the one who will take it out, you are not allowed to touch my belly.Wishing I could sleep, but someone is using my stomach for their own personal bounce house!Baby in the tummy, it’s all up to mommy.
Suddenly I was completely uncoordinated (I fell twice during pregnancy - once, tripping over the tines of a forklift! Chocolate Cake!”Let us make pregnancy an occasion when we appreciate our female bodies.People always say that pregnant women have a glow. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. x. Facebook Pinterest Twitter. And guess what, everyone is just so happy about it. It is a beautiful time of transition, growth and profound beginnings. I warned everyone the first week to not even think about calling me before at least 2pm!

In the end, I went for a visit with my ob-gyn, who claimed after the sonogram that I had "no water left", so they would have to induce labor asap. Most of them feel happy and scared at the same time. Literally the kid grew exponentially overnight... strangest thing ever! Prayer and trust in our Father/God, works, folks! !I never drank to begin with, so that wasn't me. The effects, especially on my children while still in their mother's womb ended up becoming of no detrimental problems whatsoever. She cut down, but couldn't give up drinking every single night. Please read our Congratulations on your pregnancy!Your pregnancy will be a celebration for your family, disaster for your career and a calamity for your husband. This funny pregnancy status, captions and messages manifest the cute side of pregnancy with humorous quotes that are sure to make an expecting mother giggle away.There is a sanctity involved with bringing a child into this world, it is better than bombing one out of it.Months have an average of 30 days, except the 9th month of pregnancy which has about 1,000 days.You know you are pregnant… When you are in the kitchen, dropped something and stand there thinking “Do I really need that”?Pregnancy, periods, Breast Cancer, being walked on, rape, abuse, harassment. Funny Pregnancy Status, Captions & Funniest Pregnancy Quotes Here we have compiled some of the best funny pregnancy status, captions and messages which are too funny and creative. And that’s your husband.I don’t have any big news for you, but my child would like to announce that I’m pregnant!We are going to need an extra bed for a special someone. Can I throat punch you now?”10- “It’s a great thing about being pregnant, you don’t need excuses to pee or eat” -Angelina Jolie11- “Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes” -Joyce Armor12- Okay, maybe it’s not the best pregnancy quote but”¦ #relatable13- “To pee or not to pee? It was very weird! Download our its and girl and its a boy announcements for free. Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & InstagramHere we have compiled some of the best funny pregnancy status, captions and messages which are too funny and creative.

QuoteAmo share the Best Cute Pregnancy Quotes and Sayings with hope the connection between you and your baby more meaningful. I had my whole family on standby in case my water broke, since my hubby worked 10-hr shifts and I obviously couldn't drive myself to the hospital while in active labor. Pregnancy is magical and beautiful and truly one of life’s greatest miracles”¦ but putting all that aside the whole 9 months is actually better pretty much one big struggle. I managed to drag my husband to just ONE of those classes.

----------------- I've wondered ever since where that doctor got his degree, because a few hours later, after they gave me the epidural and I could no longer get up to use the bathroom, they had to BREAK my water to get the catheter in - and trust me, there was PLENTY of water in there!!Ooops!

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